Our Birth Story

...it's been a rough journey to say the least, but

Ryan has arrived -

Healthy & Happy! at 10lbs and almost 22 inches long...

he was born on June 14 at 9:25 p.m.

I actually went into a regular labor pattern on my due date of June 8, contractions 3-5 minutes apart and lost my plug that night too. I was so proud of myself...I labored for 17 hours - walking, warm showers, and resting and then headed to the hospital expecting to check in and come home with a baby...no progress was being made. They gave me a sleeping pill and sent me home...unfortunately, I had an adverse reaction and actually halucinated - Yeah that was no fun! But contractions never stopped. Sunday, June 10, around 6:00, my contractions became very intense and I knew "for sure" that this had to be it - I could no longer talk thru them...so off we went. Again, very little progress - I was about 2cm & 50% effaced. They admitted me with a plan of "sleeping my uterus" - they recognized I was exhausted and needed to sleep. I was told that it would either stop my labor or prepare me to progress the next day...Morphine helped me rest. The next morning I was still in labor so they started Cervidil - I spent the next 12 hours strapped to monitors and dealing with some pretty heavy duty contractions...but made very little progress. Dr. said that I could stay and she would break my water the following day or we could go home. It was nearly midnight, so we opted for another night of morphine to get some sleep and hoped that the morning would give insight to our next step. Tuesday morning came and I checked out of the hospital...decided it would be easier to labor at home and the doctor felt that pushing and induction at that point would be less than optimal (people get induced all the time when they haven't made any progress - I'll never really understand this, but I was exhausted and getting out of there felt good...) Going home without a baby was horrible.

Wednesday I had my regular check-up (June 13th). They finally started talking about induction - they wanted Friday - I pitched a fit and we went on Thursday (keep in mind I'm still contracting 3-5 minutes apart). Mama, Mark and I left the doctor's office determined to have a baby by the next day. We went for a walk around the lake near our house and then went to Chili's for some country fried steak and mashed potatoes. Now that's comfort food! I continued to have contractions, but they didn't really increase in intensity. We did our best to pass the time and get some rest...had to be at the hospital very early the next morning.

Thursday morning we returned to the hospital. They checked us in, got us settled in a great room and then they broke my water about 7:30 (there was a slight meconium staining). They started pitocin around 9:45 - I labored without pain relief until about Noon at which time I was more than ready for my epidural - nurses were surprised I waited so long - I wondered why they didn't tell me I could have it sooner! The nurses were all fantastic! We really had great care. They were very careful to honor our birth plan and I had hoped to go natural...after a week of labor, an epidural seemed like a God send!

I progressed really well thruout the day and it looked like Ryan would arrive around 6 or 7 p.m. ....Wrong! I progressed to 9.5, but had an anterior lip that wouldn't budge. A doctor that I didn't know was on duty - turned out to be great, but when she came in talking about me not progressing and needing to consider options - blah blah blah - I sorta freaked...I thought I was doing really well and that he would be born eventually...as it turned out, Ryan was in distress and they weren't really telling me everything...by 9:00 I agreed to a c-section - Ryan was born at 9:25 p.m., June 14. He was sunnyside up, with cord around is neck twice and weighed 10 pounds - there was no way that I could have successfully birthed him vaginally. Thank God for c-sections!! It was hard feeling like they were giving up on me and that I had failed after working so hard for so long, but in the end, I know that we did the right thing. What a blessing!

I will never forget the experience in the OR...Mark stayed right by my side. I started throwing up...no one should have to experience this! strapped down to a table, unable to move and vomiting. Oh my gosh! Mark was wonderful!

The surgery was painless, but very surreal! Then in the blink of an eye they were handing a baby boy across my stomach to a neonatal nurse that was standing by. Because of the meconium, I wasn't able to see Ryan up close until they had a chance to suction out his lungs and check him over. Thank God! He was healthy. I will forever remember seeing this little being going by...he was rather blue, but had the coolest, wet red curly hair of any baby I had ever seen...I remember thinking to myself, "oh my, he has red hair." hahahaha! and then I laid there squeezing Mark's hand, praying as we waited to hear Ryan cry for the first time. It was the longest seconds of my life....AND Then he CRIED. What a joyful sound to be heard!!! and then I cried too. Sobbed wonderful tears of joy.

I only got to see him for just a moment before he was whisked away to the nursery. Mark wanted to stay with me in surgery, but I insisted that he stay with Ryan. It was the right thing. Mark got to be there and comfort him as they did his initial exam and cleaned him up. (Hope to get those pictures posted here soon!)

I was eventually finished in the OR and moved to recovery. Mama, Mark and Ryan met me there. I finally got to hold my baby! It was pretty amazing! I was fairly comfortable and just reveling in the joy of holding my son. We snuggled and made some intial attempts at breastfeeding. We were moved to our room a little after midnight.

Saturday, Braden got to come and see his little brother for the first time. It was love at first site! We are so greatful for all of our many blessings! Braden blew us all away when he wanted to know if I would do it again. I told him it was totally worth it. He said, "yeah, but would you do it again?...I always imagined myself as one of three." Oh my gosh! I held my sides as I laughed. I told him that we should probably table that conversation until after I get out of the hospital and then he would certainly have to take it up with his father. Yes, I would do it all again!

My recovery was fantastic! Much easier than I imagined. I was up around by morning. However, it's impossible to get any sleep in the hospital and after a couple of yucky lactation consultations, we were ready to get out of there. Where do they get those people? The nurses were all incredible, but consultants were down right scary. I truly believe "Helga" traumatized Ryan. After shoving his little body onto the wooden arm of the glider chair and his face into my left breast, he refused to even consider nursing on that side for weeks! Needless to say, we both cried during that experience. She actually ended up leaving during the middle of our session "to get something" and she never came back....left me sitting on the side of my bed attached to a "commercial" grade pump. How long do you wait before you call to see if she is coming back? ....We were discharged Sunday morning.

Even with the trauma, my milk came in. Yay!!!! (you might remember that I had breast reduction surgery and this was a real concern for me)...I was thrilled to see that my body was working...I never gave thought to the fact that I would have a lazy eater that might reject the breast. We have latch issues and are trying to work on it...in the meantime, he would rather sleep than eat...we are supplementing with formula bottles - did finger feedings until Tuesday, but it's a lot of work and takes about an hour to get an ounce of breastmilk in him. He lost 12 ounces in the hospital and another 5 between Sunday and Wednesday so the medical world is kinda freaking me out with tons of information on getting him fed. I so want to breastfeed and I'm just not sure that I can handle it. They want me to pump every 2 hours and make sure to wake him every 3 hours to feed...work on his latch but also formula feed...in the meantime the home health nurse came yesterday to check my stitches and his latch and she was "not happy" to learn that I go up and down my short flight of stairs all day - I should "only make that trip no more than twice a day"....it's 6 steps for heaven't sake! I'm trying to take care of a newborn in a split level house...I go up and down those things 40 times a day. I thought I was expected to get on with life with my only restriction being lifting no more than 15 pounds. Go figure??

My mom extend her stay for the 2nd or 3rd time and was here until Wednesday of this week. It was wonderful to have her here and awful to see her leave. I would watch her hold Ryan and think about the things she is going to miss and she and I would both cry. I think the sadness of her leaving started my emotional breakdown - the preceeding 10 days suddenly hit me like a train and I really had a hard time holding it together all day on Wednesday - yesterday was a little better and hopefully today will be even easier.

Added....Looking back on our breastfeeding, I think we needed to use the pump differently while in the hospital and beyond that, I think we would have worked it out just fine without all of the extral advice from the experts. They nearly drove me out of my mind. Ryan and I actually got the hang of it while we were staying with my parents in AL. We didn't have a crib set up so he was allowed to sleep with me. At about 7 weeks old, he could actually squirm his way to my side in the middle of the night and would latch on...often without making much fuss or really waking up. It was incredible. We continued to supplement with formula because of his size and needs, but we eventually got to where he only needed about 2 bottles a day and would only nurse at night.

Right at 6 months old, he was in full teething mode and no longer wanted to nurse. He completely weaned himself in just a few days. It was too soon for me, but seemed to be just right for him AND we avoided all of the trauma that some experience when they try to wean. I am very greatful to have successfully breastfed for 6 months...and I never once had breast problems that so many experience. What a blessing!